HELL

i have been studying all day. no t.v. for poor eunice. my schedule will go on like this until 'o' levels. i am determined. but by God's grace i will get multiple distinctions. but this sucks. i am not a studious individual. i hate studying. but i am determined. did not go for dance works as i do not want to be a stupid mascot in a sandwhich board walking around like the guy from monsters ink. yup. why is there so few people in msn btw? what's happening

i have been thinking, there is this cliche "one way ticket to hell" and oh how i wish it is the same for heaven. sadly, life is a bitch and it is pleased in making things arduous for us.

you see, the hardest thing to do in this world is to do good. i mean not that once in a life time samaritan acts you do but as a whole being a saint for world peace. it's hard to keep our records clean. temptation always lurks by and trips us over. besides, it's way easier to do bad things. don't fool around with me i know that you yourself stole something from that provision shop or lied to your parents once in a while right?

the catch in doing sinful acts is that you execute it without think and voila! it is done. after that, guilt will start stalking you like a dog's tail. i mean that's how it goes for me. i beat up my sister, she cries, and i feel bad. but the cool thing is, good deeds are the vice-versa [obviously]. it is so hard to do, with your pride hindering you, to set aside differences and help that nerd who has just been bullied or help that psychotic girl who was assigned to carry a stock of books taller than her because her class "sabo-ed" her. BUT. the reward in any goodness you peform is overwhelming. overflowing. yes, i agree that it feels better when you do it infront of people but it is more meaningful when you do when no one is watching, because someone out there is smiling from ear to ear at that moment.

there are also sometimes that you are in desperate need and have no way out. those times when the examination is tomorrow and still you have not studied or when that some one is in the hospital and you'll go like "oh God please! give me another chance and i will dedicate my life in doing you will" then he grants you the wish. after that, before you know it, you started skipping your quite time or started dating this non-christian guy. no, i am not condemning anybody because this happened to me before and it will happen again. mistakes and sins are vicious cycles of life.

we are sinful. it is in our nature. even the most obedient man like peter, denied or like judas, betrayed, or like moses, refused to speak or like abraham who questioned or like job who cursed. now you know why gravity plummets downwards to hell and not upwars to heaven. why the ocean is deeper than the highest mountain. why quadrillions of stars and one moon need to shine every night to fight the darkness.

but despite our sinfulness, despite every wound that was inflicted, despite every drop of blood wasted, despite every slash of the whip. He knew and He still kept silent in front of mr pilate. despite every lie every curse and every spit. he endured and tried to stand up. despite every stab, every gunshot and every bomb droped. He still died and rose again.

despite everything, He still loved

MAHAL KA PARIN NYA.